Gloria Lintermans

Author, Writer, Columnist

THE HEALING POWER OF GRIEF

The Journey Through Loss to Love and Laughter

Table of contents | Introduction | Bill of Rights

 

 

Table of Contents:

 

Acknowledgements

 

PART ONE

 

Grief is a passage

Introduction more>

Mourners' Bill of Rights more>

A Time for Grief: Find Comfort in Your Religious Rituals

 

GRIEVING IS … THE FIVE TIME SEQUENCES OF HEALING GRIEF

 

Foreword

 

CHAPTER ONE: One - Four Months of Grieving

 

Loving is all encompassing. How to convert that energy after we lose our spouse into something positive that doesn't destroy us. Who am I now? How to take what is sad beyond measure and turn it into something positive.

 

  • Shock
  • The Alarm Response: Of course you’re scared.
  • Do’s and Don’ts for the Bereaved
  • Do's & Don’ts for Friends and Family of the Bereaved

 

 

CHAPTER TWO: Five - Eight Months of Grieving

 

Where am I? I can’t get out of bed one day, and rush to get out the next!? I have a range of conflicting emotions and at the same time, I sense that I need to move forward. How to deal with conflicting emotions while moving forward.

 

  • Denial
  • Reducing, Avoiding or Preventing Anxiety: Why you can’t believe the unbelievable.
  • Do’s and Don’ts for the Bereaved
  • Do's & Don’ts for Friends and Family of the Bereaved

 

CHAPTER THREE: Nine - Twelve Months of Grieving

 

WOW! Have I been hit! SHOCK equals bewilderment. I have no energy. I need warmth, safe places and protection. How to continue healing while feeling like you've taken a step backward as the numbness of shock has worn off and a deep, dark sadness pervades your life.

 

  • Anger –Outward and Inward
  • Common Feelings of Anger, Rage, Envy and Resentment: You’re a Chernobyl of emotions and feelings.
  • Do’s and Don’ts for the Bereaved
  • Do's & Don’ts for Friends and Family of the Bereaved

 

CHAPTER FOUR: Thirteen - Seventeen Months of Grieving

 

The veil has lifted and you are no longer protected by shock; it is normal to experience some depression at this point. Much of the “busy work” has been resolved, creating time to finally process feelings. Learn how to successfully navigate this second year of mourning which may be even more painful than the first.

 

  • Depression
  • Feeling Helpless and Overwhelmed: It’s okay to want to sleep all day (but don’t do it).
  • Do’s and Don’ts for the Bereaved
  • Do's & Don’ts for Friends and Family of the Bereaved

 

CHAPTER FIVE: Eighteen - Twenty-Four Months of Grieving

 

You have resolved most of your grief issues. You are hopeful and involved in work or social activities, dating—perhaps a committed new loving relationship. You have resolved most of your grief issues. How to successfully re-enter the world not the way it was but the way you now want it to be, with a new partner or not.

 

  • Integration, Adjustment, Transition
  • How to Know When You Are Healing: Could it be a hint of happiness?
  • Do’s and Don’ts for the Bereaved
  • Do's & Don’ts for Friends and Family of the Bereaved

 

HEALING THROUGH CREATING BALANCE by Dr. Jo Christner, Psy.D.

 

 

CHAPTER SIX: Grieving non-traditional relationships

 

Mourning the loss of a spouse within a conventional relationship is difficult, but when the loss is from a non-traditional relationship, i.e., gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender community, male/female life partner, it can be even more challenging because often there is little family or community-at-large support. Personal stories and support resources. Why is it different for me? How to find peace grieving non-traditional relationships.

 

  • Do’s and Don’ts for the Bereaved
  • Do's & Don’ts for Friends and Family of the Bereaved

 

 

CHAPTER SEVEN: Pennies from Heaven

 

Heartwarming, true accounts that have reached from beyond the grave.

 

RESOURCES

 

  • Organizations
  • Internet Bereavement Support
  • General Internet Resources
  • Funeral Resources
  • Government Resources
  • Newsletters
  • Caring for Grieving Children

 

 

PART TWO

 

THE HEALING POWER OF THOUGHT: A WORKBOOK

 

Introduction

 

THE FIVE TIME SEQUENCES OF GRIEF

 

CHAPTER ONE: One - Four Months

 

Loving is all encompassing. Convert that energy after we lose our spouse into something positive that doesn't destroy us. Who am I now? Take what is sad beyond measure and turn it into something positive.

 

  • Shock
  • The Alarm Response: Of course you’re scared.

 

CHAPTER TWO: Five - Eight Months

 

Where am I? I can’t get out of bed one day, and rush to get out the next!? I have a range of conflicting emotions and at the same time, I sense that I need to move forward. Cope with conflicting emotions while moving forward.

 

  • Denial
  • Reducing, Avoiding or Preventing Anxiety: Why you can’t believe the unbelievable.

 

CHAPTER THREE: Nine - Twelve Months

 

WOW! Have I been hit! SHOCK equals bewilderment. I have no energy. I need warmth, safe places and protection. Continue healing while feeling like you've taken a step backward as the numbness of shock has worn off and a deep, dark sadness pervades your life.

 

  • Anger –Outward and Inward
  • Common Feelings of Anger, Rage, Envy and Resentment: You’re a Chernobyl of emotions and feelings.

 

CHAPTER FOUR: Thirteen - Seventeen Months

 

The veil has lifted and you are no longer protected by shock; it is normal to experience some depression at this point. Much of the “busy work” has been resolved, creating time to finally process feelings. Successfully navigate this second year of mourning, which may be even more painful than the first.

 

  • Depression
  • Feeling Helpless and Overwhelmed: It’s okay to want to sleep all day (but don’t do it).

 

CHAPTER FIVE: Eighteen - Twenty-Four Months

 

You have resolved most of your grief issues. You are hopeful and involved in work or social activities, dating—perhaps a committed new loving relationship. You have resolved most of your grief issues. Successfully re-enter the world not the way it was but the way you now want it to be, with a new partner or not.

 

  • Integration, Adjustment, Transition
  • You Are Healing: Could it be a hint of happiness?

 

 

Bibliography

 

Appendix I

 

Healing and Hope

 

H.O.P.E. UNIT FOUNDATION FOR BEREAVEMENT, LOSS AND TRANSITION

 

Appendix II

 

“Life goes go on, and for many it’s surprisingly sweet.” by Benedict Carey

 

INDEX

 

THE HEALING POWER OF GRIEF

 

Gloria Lintermans 2017