Author, Writer, Columnist
THE NEWLY DIVORCED BOOK OF PROTOCOL
By Gloria Lintermans
Table of Contents
PART ONE: DETACHMENT
You know it. Your spouse probably knows it. You're just not ready to know it together.
No one's ever gone through what you're going through or felt so alone.
STRADDLING THE DOORSTEP
Home isn't an "in-n-out" burger place.
ATTACKS ON SELF-ESTEEM
Going blond, getting breast implants, buying a whole new wardrobe. Getting hair implants, etc.
PARALYZING FEAR-THE MOMENT OF TRUTH
Tension beyond belief - something has to give. Who's pretending anyway.
No matter what the reality, home is where your heart is.
RELIEF - EUPHORIA - TERROR
You told and didn't die. You're in control again. Life is good, but now you really do have to leave.
FEELING GUILTY AND KIDS
You probably should. It's okay.
THE LEAVER AND THE LEFT
Yes, it does make a difference. It's called self-esteem.
KIDS AND PROPERTY
Kids as bargaining chips.
CRIME AND PUNISHMENT/SUPPORT WITHDRAWAL
What uncle's ninetieth party did you say you'd go it? Had a bad day at the office, honey? Too bad. Had a fender bender on the way home? Oh, well.
WHEN TO TELL THE KIDS
Think they don't know something's going on? They're scared and confused, too.
Never, ever did you consider the possibility that this could happen to you.
WHAT TO TELL THE KIDS
A three-year-old's not a fifteen-year-old.
Are you or aren't you a couple?
HOW TO TELL THE KIDS
You're still having sex with who!?
KIDS AND DATING
Understanding and reassurance.
You want what?
WHEN MARRIAGE ENDS AND DIVORCE BEGINS
Closure, focus, new beginnings.
PART TWO: SEPARATION
LAWYER: YOURS, MINE OR OURS
Are you really saving money by using one attorney, or is one of you getting shortchanged.
Make it special for you and your kids.
WHO AM I?
When half of a whole feels like zero.
PAIN, GUILT, JOY, ANGER, SELF-REPROACH, RELIEF, DISTRESS, EUPHORIA
An emotional roller coaster.
CHANGES IN SOCIAL ROLE
When a mother's no longer a wife.
TELLING THE FAMILY
Possibly the worst moment of your life. Owning up to failure.
No, it wouldn't have made a difference.
TELLING AND THE CUSTODY OF FRIENDS
Yours, mine, ours.
FATHERS' CHANGING ROLE
Who are we now?
MOTHERS' CHANGING ROLE
Not appropriate for casual dates.
Creating a new family framework.
The new family that prays together stays together.
VISITATION AND OTHER RULES
Hey Dad, just drop by whenever--who needs privacy.
Or lack of.
Playing Fair. Kids aren't hostages.
Why is he trying so hard to get you married off?
Maybe it wasn't so bad after all.
THE QUALITY OF THE POST MARITAL RELATIONSHIP
Good, bad, hard on the kids?
PART THREE: A NEW BALANCE
ENDINGS AS NEW BEGINNINGS
There is a choice.
MAINTAINING COMMUNICATION WITH KIDS
It's your job, even when they're at his or her house. Even when their new significant other might answer.
RELATIONSHIP WITH EX-SPOUSE
A workable truce.
When is dating like bungee jumping? Now.
RELATIONSHIP WITH GRANDPARENTS, FORMER IN-LAWS AND FAMILY.
NEW FAMILY STRUCTURE
Who's the boss?
Who knows, life might even get better.
SOCIAL OBLIGATIONS INVOLVING CHILDREN
Yes, kids still need parents
EX-SPOUSE AS PRESENT LOVER
LIFE- POST DIVORCE
RELATIONSHIP WITH FORMER FRIENDS -WITHDRAWAL
One--rallying to your side. Two--envy, admiration, curiosity, fear (of divorce as a communicable disease). Three--gone.
THE NEWLY DIVORCED BOOK OF PROTOCOL: How To Be Civil When
You Hate Their Guts